Gaining an Understanding of Myself

Asexuality Flag

Talking about ones sexuality can often be challenging or awkward, especially if you are telling people that you are not heterosexual and do not fit into the strict conventions prescribed by society. Though people try to hide their true feelings and responses, many will feel shocked or uncertain of how to treat you, despite the fact that you are exactly the same person as you were before talking to them about your sexuality.

Personally, I have never really considered my sexual orientation. I always assumed that I was straight because that was the norm in society but, through undertaking some research recently, I have discovered that I do not wholly fit into this category.

During my reseach I came across many different sexual orientations which I had never heard of before; aromantic, grey-romantic, pansexual and skoliosexual were all new terms to me. Yet I had heard of asexualism, where people lack, or only have a low level, of sexual attraction to other people and have little or no interest in sexual experiences.

The plethora of forums and websites which popped up on Google about asexuality surprised me and, after reading through some of them, I realised that this was me. They were describing how I felt. I wasn’t strange or abnormal in my lack of interest in sex, or romance for that matter. The way I felt had a name and was recognised, albeit narrowly, by society.

Looking into asexuality and aromanticism enabled me to broaden my horizons regarding different sexualities; the acronym LGBT+ has so many different sexual orientations under the ‘+’ part, including both asexual and aromantic!

Now, I know that having a label for the way that you feel is not important; there are so many labels being thrown around in society that they often do more to hinder than help people. Nevertheless, I feel as if I have a fuller sense of personal identity and feel that this knowledge can allow me to live more freely for who I am and who I want to be, someone comfortable in their own skin.


If you want to learn more about asexuality, then I think this website is one of the most useful: Otherwise, there are many sites which will come up after a simple Google search.


And a final interesting point:


The image above depicts the flag for asexuality. Each colour has a specific meaning.

They are:

  • Black – Asexuality
  • Grey – Grey-asexuality and Demi-sexuality
  • White – Non-asexual partners and allies
  • Purple – Community

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