I have written so much poetry over the past few years to release all the confusing emotions and sensations that I feel. When I read back over what I have written some of it is quite disturbing, very deep and dark. Yet there are a number of pieces which are comic or show joy. Continue reading “Inside my Head”
It’s tough. Really tough. Recently there have been so any times when I wonder if recovery is worth it.
It’s so difficult for others to understand. And I appreciate that, they haven’t got a voice in their head trying to control them and prevent them from eating. But it does make the fight seem so isolated and impossible in some ways. Continue reading “You have to eat”
I feel so uncertain at the moment.
The incentive that I had been using to get myself to eat better and more regularly was my exams. But now that I have completed my exams and finished all the assessments for my degree that incentive no longer exists. Continue reading “Holding back, or holding on?”
I haven’t really thought about it until now. Reflection can tell you many things and sometimes they are useful but at other times they are unwanted. Today reflection makes me a bit sad but also hopeful. Continue reading “Relapse”
As I have mentioned before, there are many benefits to opening up about how you feel. Continue reading “Talking”
Do you ever wonder why God puts humans through so much suffering? So much pain and struggle and heartbreak? Do you ever question if God can really be in this situation? If he really cares? Continue reading “Positivity in Struggles?”
I am sure that you will be pleased to hear that some things are improving. That there are aspects of recovery which I am managing relatively successfully. Continue reading “Continuing with Recovery”
Self-care is very important.
It is necessary to survive on Earth and it is something that many of us struggle with. All too often we bully ourselves to do things we do not want to do or even to do things which we need to do. Continue reading “Self-care”
I thought recovery would be easier; I thought that once I was told that my relationship to food and myself was unhealthy I would be able to change. Instead, the more I’m told it’s a problem, the more I open up to people and try to seek help from friends and professionals, the more difficult it becomes. Continue reading “Recovery: challenging but worthwhile”
I was thinking this morning about a piece of coursework I’m currently working on for my special subject. I am looking at open and closed communities in rural Victorian England. The terms ‘open’ and ‘closed’ come from nineteenth century reports about rural communities and have been used by the historian Dennis Mills to create a model to assess the types of communities that existed in England during the Victorian era. Continue reading “Boxes”