I don’t know where I’m going I don’t know who I am Each time I think I’m back on track I get knocked down again Looking back to see Why I keep on slipping And all I can think is I thought things were getting better Maybe I’m just pretending To myself and those around [...]
Tag: family
What happened to the girl I was?
What happened to the girl I was? Excited to get up each morning To see what the day would hold What happened to the girl I was? Imagining people and places Losing herself in other worlds What happened to the girl I was? Happy with my appearance, personality etc. Not caring if I really fitted [...]
Emotions
Suppressing emotions does not make them go away They are left to fester and bubble under the surface You turn your face away and focus on other things Out of sight, out of mind But they are still there Years and years of suppressing emotions You forget that you are even doing it Unaware that [...]
Choices
I keep telling myself something needs to change I keep telling myself I need to make a choice I can’t keep living this half life Stuck in quasi-recovery Sometimes edging backwards and sometimes edging forwards But never going fully either way I tell myself to make a choice But which option should I choose I [...]
The Two Lives
There is a disconnect between the two lives that I dream of There is the life where I can go out with my friends or family, buy coffee or hot chocolate and go on walks and have fun. The life where movie nights and snacks happen; where I don’t need to worry about getting five [...]
Anger
Anger is an emotion I try to avoid. With an eating disorder, we often try to avoid a lot of uncomfortable emotions and a lot of recovery involves feeling our emotions again. But I still avoid anger. I try to be calm, level-headed, and cool. I keep things to myself and try to push any [...]
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great”
"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great". This is a quote which I keep seeing when I walk past a poster advertising local karate classes and it always catches my attention. There are so many things in life that we want to try but we worry [...]
We survived
I don't want to do a review of the last year. It's been tough in so many ways for everyone and I am just thankful that we have managed to get through it. At the end of 2020, we can be glad that we survived. It doesn't matter if you didn't utilise the 'extra' time [...]
“Sometimes, when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted”
"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried but actually you have been planted" This quote often sticks with me and reminds me that, when times seem particularly tough and challenging, better things may be coming I don't usually believe it but once I'm on the other side I can see [...]
Crisis: Mental Health Service
I saw the Crisis team for one and a half months in the later part of 2020. I wanted to share my experience with them because it was quite mixed. My GP referred me to the local Crisis service and I was given an assessment for the next day. The assessment was a little scary [...]
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